The Gangnam File

Style. Wealth. Disinterested is cool.

I think that about sums up Gangnam in the briefest way possible.

I went solo today to get some actual research done for my Model United Nations Conference next week. I was determined to find a cafe that I couldn't find in Australia. This is what I found:

I had an earl grey and sweet lemongrass teas, as happens when I stay in a cafe for five hours. For 5,000 won per cup, it was not the most affordable cafe experience, though I suppose I expected that in Gangnam. The music fluctuated between modern jazz funk, hip hop, house and indie-covered Western pop music. I'm not sure if it helped with my focus, but I got the job done. No thanks to the integration of fashion either. (I later found out that downstairs was the main shop)

Throughout the whole day, there were maybe fifteen people at most that came into the place, which meant that the staff mostly paced around, chatted with each other or just generally looked bored on their phones. The best part was that they looked to be smooth criminals whilst doing all that.

Hwa jang shil ee aw di ae yo? This phrase saved my life. Its meaning: where is the bathroom? Whilst I did manage to survive a good part of the day without reliance on Seung or Song, it didn't mean there were no awkward moments. A surprisingly unattractive girl (it is Seoul, after all) stared almost longingly at me as I asked for an earl grey, only for me to soon find out that she was a surprisingly unattractive guy. Good times.

After dinner back at home, I went with the family to a public bath in Gangnam, which Seung so strategically called a sauna instead; never have I had such a foreigner moment in my life before. There was nothing to prepare me for the amount of cock and ball that I encountered. However, after getting over the initial shock, it was quite the refreshing experience. I ended up in a sauna room with two very naked, older middle-aged Korean men, one of whom started singing merrily while we were in there, all the while beckoning me to move my chair closer. Then I found out that that was only part of the bathing area. The bathing area.

Next came the true jjimjilbang. Thankful to be wearing clothes again, I found myself in what looked like a hotel lobby, with people sitting and lying down on the floor, watching the various TV monitors around the place. Seung was telling me that some people come here to sleep at night. For 10,000 won in Gangnam (it's cheaper elsewhere) after 8pm, I don't see why you wouldn't. There were several adjoining rooms with varying temperatures, ranging from about 50 degrees Celsius up into the 90s. We alternated between one room that was 61 degrees Celsius and a traditional-style room that looked like a giant furnace and was hot to a painful extent. We were astounded at a man in the furnace who was merely perspiring rather than sweating. There was also a hardcore lady who left, only to come back wearing a towel over her face. I was nice enough to reset the hourglass for the people still inside when I was getting out. I'm not entirely sure that they appreciated it.

I couldn't really take photos past this point due to the lack of clothes, sadly

Back in the lobby area, they cater for the hunger that comes with the hard work of sitting in a heated room. You can get snacks, ramyun and even alcohol, amongst other things. Seung got us a traditional Korean rice juice and, of course, I got the pink straw. Going against what I promised myself years ago, we watched Korean dramas on the television monitors in-between soaking up heat.

Seung and I have resolved to invite any new friends we make in South Korea to come with us to the baths next time. I mean sauna.

- Charith